Seeking Starfish

My recent post, Beautiful Before , got quite a response. I shared my recovery story. A story of disordered eating, a story that was headed toward a full-blown eating disorder. A story of anxiety, depression, and grief that was masked by focusing on weight loss. A story I'm changing for myself. And what if...I asked you to change your story, too? 1. What if I asked you to stop dieting? 2. What if I asked you to accept your body TODAY, as it is? 3. How would your life be different if you did? 4. What things could you finally DO that you've been WAITING to do until you hit your goal? Let me tell you how these answers went for me: 1. Stop dieting? But I'll get fat again! I can't do that! People will think I'm giving up. 2.  But I'm not thin enough.  I haven't reached goal.  How can I accept myself where I am without finishing? Everyone will know I'm a quitter. 3.  Uh...less busy, I guess. And I'd be fatter. 4.  ...

May 2009.  My notorious "before" picture.  If you've followed my weight loss journey throughout the years, you've probably seen me post this picture.  It's my go to "before" picture.  Taken in 2009.  I've shared it LOTS of times to show "how far I've come" and to show off the huge "accomplishments" I had achieved by losing weight.   Today, you get the REAL story.  The story I think I always knew I was living, but never wanted to face.  The story I never wanted anyone to know.  Let's start with that picture... I hated myself.  I hated my big legs, my big butt, my tummy, my arms, my face.  Everything. Nothing but hate.   What you may have forgotten, or not known, about this picture... I was pregnant.   It was our second pregnancy, which would, about a week after this photo, end in our second miscarriage.   What I am realizing, looking back, is that there was so much more to "fix" than fat.  So many...

The medical community could never  get away with selling cholesterol medication that worked for 9-12 months, but then, even if you religiously took your medication , your arteries became clogged again. What's worse, they clogged worse than they were before you started taking it.  That medication would never be allowed to be put on the market.   Here's a crazy thing.   There is not ONE diet, eating plan, clean eating method, weight-loss product, etc. that has been proven to give long-lasting weight loss.  IT DOES NOT EXIST.  Only 3-5% of people who lose weight keep it off for longer than a year.  And what's worse, they often end up weighing more than they did when they started. This isn't opinion folks.  This is backed up by a multitude of studies.   So WHY are these diets and products still around?   Let's go back to the medication.  If you religiously took that cholesterol medication, and your cholesterol levels returned ...

My latest blog author is my amazing friend, Jen McGovern. Jen and I met when I was teaching music in Stow. She is an incredible 3rd grade teacher and was one of the first teachers to truly welcome me and make me feel at home in Stow. She and her awesome husband, Dan, were in our wedding and have been great friends for a long time, even though we have moved away. Jen has always been an inspiration to me, and I hope you find what she has to say inspirational as well. She is an incredible athlete who pushes herself to things we may all not see as possible, but always is willing to encourage everyone else along the way. Here's Jen! I’m an athlete. I’m a girl. I’m a mom. Jen asked me to be her guest blogger this week. She said I would offer a different perspective on fitness and nutrition. I’m not sure what that means, and I don’t blog, but here goes! :) Now, if you know Jen, you know her friends are amazing. If you are reading this, you ARE one of her friends, whic...

This blog is going to keep going, it's just getting a slow start. 😉  I want you to get to hear from some other people in their health and fitness journeys.  Each of us is so different.  Our bodies are different.  Our souls are different.  Our needs are different.  Hearing from others means you get more perspectives as you start (continue, finish, consider starting) your own health journey. Today, I introduce my amazing friend, Cassie.  Cassie will tell you how we met, but I will tell you what I love about her.  She is real.  She is THERE.  She supports me when I feel crazy and reminds me I'm not (completely) crazy.  She's FUN and FUNNY and I love being with her, but don't see her enough.  And she's strong.  You'll see that.  Here's my first guest blog from my amazing friend, Cassie. Cassie came to see us at our new house over Christmas.  Of course, I had to do this... ;)  Okay so, I’m writing this...

Almost 8 years ago, Matt and I were recovering.  We had lost 2 babies to miscarriage.  Actually, in my before picture, I was still pregnant with the second.  My weight was problematic before we started trying to get pregnant, and I just continued to gain weight through the miscarriages.  Through the process, I had started a blog, and decided to dedicate it to weight loss accountability.  The first post I wrote about weight loss shared my before picture, and I continued to post weekly updates about my journey.  Here is that picture:  Through that year, I was overwhelmed with support and encouragement.  Sadly, I started this journey very unhappy with who I was and very intimidated by eating well and exercise.  While I was able to gain confidence throughout the process, I wish I had loved myself more.  What a different year it could have been if I had appreciated my body's abilities from the beginning.  As I gained weight with p...