Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

My recent post, Beautiful Before, got quite a response.

I shared my recovery story.

A story of disordered eating, a story that was headed toward a full-blown eating disorder.

A story of anxiety, depression, and grief that was masked by focusing on weight loss.

A story I'm changing for myself.


And what if...I asked you to change your story, too?


1. What if I asked you to stop dieting?
2. What if I asked you to accept your body TODAY, as it is?
3. How would your life be different if you did?
4. What things could you finally DO that you've been WAITING to do until you hit your goal?


Let me tell you how these answers went for me:

1. Stop dieting? But I'll get fat again! I can't do that! People will think I'm giving up.
2.  But I'm not thin enough.  I haven't reached goal.  How can I accept myself where I am without finishing? Everyone will know I'm a quitter.
3.  Uh...less busy, I guess. And I'd be fatter.
4.  I'd get the tattoo I've been wanting.  I'd wear the dress I've been saving.  I'd go to the restaurants I've been leaving out. (etc.)


But here's the thing, folks.  Here's where my story doesn't translate to everyone:

Whether I want to admit it to my disordered brain or not, I'm thin. I fit the acceptable size for society.  So why not jump on board with Body Positivity?  Much easier for me in a thin body than my bigger friends.  Because being thin gives me privilege.  

Those friends that look at those questions, look at their bodies, and say, 
1. Giving up dieting means my body won't ever change?
2.  Accepting my body now means I'll never experience the goal I've set for myself.  Never have the thin body I have been working so hard to get. People will think I'm giving up. People will think this is my excuse to be lazy. 
3.  I think there would be some grief in my life - knowing that this is where I could stay forever. 
4.  Play with my kids more, even though I'm afraid I can't.  (and so on...)


I'm asking you to think about something that, for many, seems absolutely crazy, ridiculous, and completely terrifying.  I'm asking you to accept yourself where you are and reject the cultural standard that only thin bodies are good bodies.  
Reject the mindset that only people who are visibly thin are active and fit. 
Reject the mindset that people who are fat are lazy. 
Those things are just simply NOT true. 


It's going to take time.  (I'm not patient.)  
I want wellness, happiness, fulfillment, and joy out of life for every single one of you. 
And I don't want you to have to wait for that - I don't want your weight to make you wait. 

One of the podcasters I listened to put it this way, and it fits me, too: I'm a wolf in sheep's clothing.  A thin person talking about body positivity, intuitive eating, and rejecting diet culture.  To some, it must look pretty easy for me to do in my thin body - 
from my place of privilege.

Weight aside, what I'm gaining is freedom, trust in my body, 
and a life that is worth living NOW.  
That's got incredible value to me - at any size - and I want it for you, too.

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