Seeking Starfish

My recent post, Beautiful Before , got quite a response. I shared my recovery story. A story of disordered eating, a story that was headed toward a full-blown eating disorder. A story of anxiety, depression, and grief that was masked by focusing on weight loss. A story I'm changing for myself. And what if...I asked you to change your story, too? 1. What if I asked you to stop dieting? 2. What if I asked you to accept your body TODAY, as it is? 3. How would your life be different if you did? 4. What things could you finally DO that you've been WAITING to do until you hit your goal? Let me tell you how these answers went for me: 1. Stop dieting? But I'll get fat again! I can't do that! People will think I'm giving up. 2.  But I'm not thin enough.  I haven't reached goal.  How can I accept myself where I am without finishing? Everyone will know I'm a quitter. 3.  Uh...less busy, I guess. And I'd be fatter. 4.  ...

May 2009.  My notorious "before" picture.  If you've followed my weight loss journey throughout the years, you've probably seen me post this picture.  It's my go to "before" picture.  Taken in 2009.  I've shared it LOTS of times to show "how far I've come" and to show off the huge "accomplishments" I had achieved by losing weight.   Today, you get the REAL story.  The story I think I always knew I was living, but never wanted to face.  The story I never wanted anyone to know.  Let's start with that picture... I hated myself.  I hated my big legs, my big butt, my tummy, my arms, my face.  Everything. Nothing but hate.   What you may have forgotten, or not known, about this picture... I was pregnant.   It was our second pregnancy, which would, about a week after this photo, end in our second miscarriage.   What I am realizing, looking back, is that there was so much more to "fix" than fat.  So many...

The medical community could never  get away with selling cholesterol medication that worked for 9-12 months, but then, even if you religiously took your medication , your arteries became clogged again. What's worse, they clogged worse than they were before you started taking it.  That medication would never be allowed to be put on the market.   Here's a crazy thing.   There is not ONE diet, eating plan, clean eating method, weight-loss product, etc. that has been proven to give long-lasting weight loss.  IT DOES NOT EXIST.  Only 3-5% of people who lose weight keep it off for longer than a year.  And what's worse, they often end up weighing more than they did when they started. This isn't opinion folks.  This is backed up by a multitude of studies.   So WHY are these diets and products still around?   Let's go back to the medication.  If you religiously took that cholesterol medication, and your cholesterol levels returned ...